I wasn’t expecting Piranha 3DD to be some sort of masterpiece. The first film was ridiculous, bloody, and a heap of stupid fun. Sadly, Piranha 3DD is just stupid. This film is more like a series of comedy sketches that are separated by moments of bloody action. That sounds good on paper, but the comedy isn’t really funny and the action isn’t nearly as bloody as the previous film.
It looks like Piranha 3DD is only trying to live up to the double d part of the title. There’s more naked women in this film than you can shake a stick at, but without the fun nature of the first film, it just ends up feeling like a sleazy attempt to draw in the younger male audience. I’m sure that it worked on some level, but the lack of any great gore effects will probably leave many horror fans in the cold…with perky nipples, but still in the cold.
Piranha 3D was hilarious fun, and I was really looking forward to the second installment. I’m kind of shocked that it wound up being so terrible. If anything, this film proves that you can’t ‘be’ funny, you just ‘are’ funny. The attempt to take everything to the next level never works. Too much time is spent trying to one up the last film, including the famous penis scene. That was hilarious, and fitting, in the first film. Here, it’s completely ridiculous and over the top. It also doesn’t mix with the actors involved in the scene. Nobody was more deserving of having their penis chewed off than Jerry O’Connell’s character in Piranha 3D. Going a step further, Piranha 3DD features the same idea, but involves a girl as well. Those poor characters don’t deserve their bloody fate, so not only is the idea too stupid to really enjoy, but it happens to the most inappropriate people.
Carnage is unleashed, but it's a pale attempt at beating the first film out.
While the movie tries to outdo the first film at every level, it completely fails to measure up in the one area that really counts. The gore. Chewed up limbs, half eaten people, girls falling apart, hair caught in motor blades. These are the moments that really pushed Piranha 3D over the top for horror fans. It was bloody and gross. Piranha 3DD forgets all about those gruesome looking body parts, and is happy to just toss some fake blood in the water as people attempt to escape. What we’re left with is a teen sex horror comedy. It brings to mind old slasher movies from the ’80s. They weren’t typically very gruesome, and always featured at least one nude scene, as if flicking fake blood at the camera and shaking some boobs is enough to create a film. We don’t expect much, but if you’re going to make a sequel to such a gruesome flick, it’s best to leave some of that gore in.
Ving Rhames returns for a stupid and pointless cameo.
Even The Hoff can’t save this one from sinking, although he tries his best. He shows up at the water park where the action happens as the celebrity lifeguard. The Hoff playing a douchebag version of himself is actually pretty funny, but it’s not enough to help. It wouldn’t be a sequel without a few familiar faces, brought to you by Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, and Paul Scheer. Christopher Lloyd gets to have some fun with his scenes, but poor Ving Rhames winds up in some of the most stupid moments in the film. Missing both his legs from the piranha attack in the first film, he’s at the water park to conquer his fears. When the piranha begin their attack, Rhames straps on his shotgun legs, and goes to town. What we see is a series of exploding water shots. Wow, exciting.
This is just a bad attempt to take a fun flick and raise the bar. It’s not very funny, it’s rarely as gory as the first film, and it just isn’t any fun. I’d suggest skipping this one, although I’m sure most people already have.
Under the marquee – Will
