So terrible, so freaking enjoyably terrible! – Will
A tainted water supply turns every man into a raging misogynist. It’s up to Phil O’Ginny and his new friend Misandra to stop the madness.
Directed by – Drew Bolduc, Dan Nelson
Written by – Drew Bolduc
Starring – Drew Bolduc, Colleen Walsh, Cody Crenshaw, Kenneth Hall, Gabriella Herzberg, Richard Spencer, Ariel Canton, Cecile Claridge, Joey Tran, Patrick Gaskill, Will Towles, Mister Lobo
Words will fail to describe the insane madness that rules The Taint. Imagine a bunch of 13-year-olds got together and made a movie but they actually had some skills in the FX department and you’ll start to get a small taste of what’s to come. The movie is full of gross-out effects, exposed penis, terribly cheesy dialogue, vomit, masturbation, face ripping, head bashing and crotch blasting action. This one is not for those film lovers who believe in good taste because there’s none of that in The Taint. What’s left is a movie that is so bad that you can’t help but watch and demand that your friends watch it as well. I can’t think of one person that I know that would enjoy this movie and yet I feel compelled to make them all watch it. It’s just so outrageous that it seems a shame to not share it.
Plot is kept to a minimum as well as character development. Basically Phil O’Ginny (Drew Bolduc) is on the run in a world gone mad. He runs into Misandra (Colleen Walsh) who explains what has happened. A tainted water supply has turned all the men who drink the water into women hating killers. It has also made them ragingly horny and they typically walk around with their penis hanging out of their pants, ahem, releasing fluids as they go. Jeez, there’s not a really clean way you can describe this one! They eventually learn that a drug called Cockzantium is responsible. It was meant to be a male enhancement drug but the side effect was the rage. That didn’t stop a crazed executive from releasing it into the water supply. Now it’s up to Phil and Misandra to try and save the world.
Phil O'Ginny carries the fate of the world on his shoulders. Probably should have chosen someone else!
Just that premise alone is probably enough to turn people off the movie but I would suggest giving it a look. It’s certainly not going to be for everyone but it’s one of those movies that you just have to see anyway. Surprisingly some of the acting isn’t that bad but don’t go in expecting award winning performances. What you will get is some pretty funny moments with characters that are way over the top. From a jacked up former gym coach to one of the scientists that created the Cockzantium who ends up getting his face ripped off, the characters should have you howling. At the same time some of the effects and, ummm, scenes of unnecessary nudity will leave you gagging.
I've heard of a girl stealing your heart but this goes a little beyond that.
It’s those gag worthy effects that really hooked me into the film. They aren’t exactly the most convincing of effects but it wasn’t so much the way they looked in the end, it was the way they were combined with the actual actors. The best example is of a girl laying on the ground about to get her head crushed with a rock. The shot is steady on her face as the rock enters the screen and destroys her head. I watched it a couple of times just to see where a cut was but it was done so well that it seemed like such a smooth transition. Not every effect is that spectacular but for a low budget flick these were some of the best ones I’ve seen.
It all boils down to a film that is full of pointless gore, outrageous characters and a ridiculous plot. I’m pretty sure you’ll hate yourself for watching the movie but I’m also willing to bet that you try and force someone else to watch it. This one needs to get passed around like the infection that runs in the film. Head over to the official site to pick up a copy.
Under the marquee – Will
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Based on its name alone I can’t help but be curious. The gore seals the deal.
I’m still dying to watch this one with the commentary. Really, the flick fails to be properly explained and needs to be seen to be believed. If I were you Goregirl, I would give these guys a shout. Maybe they’ll hook you up coz I’m betting this kind of twisted stuff would be right up your alley! HAHA!