Lucy, the Devil’s daughter, is determined to open the gates of Hell.
Directed by – Brian Skiba
Written by – Laurie Love, Brian Skiba
Starring – Michael Jason Allen, Robert Altizer, Richard Anderson, Gil Andrews, Sande Comenzind, Rick Dyer, Aaron Ginn-forsberg, Robert Guthrie, David C. Hayes, Brittney Hendricks, Taylor Hogue, Ed Hughes, Ron Jeremy, Davina Joy, Mario Lanza, Kristin Leigh, Laurie Love, Austin Nordell, Randy Oppenheimer, Lanny Rethaber, Jennifer Rio, Jose Rosete, Dominic Ross, David Staley, Neal Trout, Kent Welbourne, Brie Wynn
If this is Grindhouse reborn than I wish it had just stayed dead. The movie takes all the quirks of the grindhouse and exploits them to no end. It reminds me of when my kids hear a funny joke and then tell the joke endlessly. It’s funny at first but after hearing the joke 50 times you just want them to be quiet.
Here we get dirt on the screen, a missing reel, cheesy acting, really bad CG, werewolves that look like slightly hairy people, I think there were some vampires, zombies that range from having some good makeup to one that just had green painted on its face and to cap it all off the Devil himself is more lounge lizard than evil being. The movie is a friggin mess. I imagine that a lot of that was supposed to be the point. At first it’s kinda funny. The dialogue has a bad dubbing quality to it and the acting is so corny that it’s funny. It’s such an extreme spoof though, that after a while it just starts grating on your nerves.
The story is a giant mess as well. I’m not sure if that’s the point but if it is, why? There’s a man who loved the preachers daughter but Lucy, the devil’s daughter, wanted him. So she kidnaps them and turns the woman into a werewolf and the man into a vampire. Then Lucy gets killed and vows to return when the werewolf’s blood is spilled. Forward to the 60′s, 70′s, I’m not sure, and a descendant of Lucy (coz apparently the Devil’s daughter had some offspring?) winds up in the middle of a werewolf, zombie, vampire sandwich where the vampire guy shows up and lets her in on the secret. Lucy wants to open the gates of hell. You know what, there’s more going on in there but I don’t even care to relate any more of it. It’s just stupid really.
I’ll give the flick credit for spilling plenty of blood. The stuff is squirting everywhere so it helped ease the burden of having to watch the whole movie and Ron Jeremy’s very short but funny cameo was worth it. Everything else was just annoying. I have never seen such bad CG in a movie before. At one point we get a shot of hell as the Devil speaks to his minions and it looks like something out of a bad video game. I had to rewind the movie just to get another look at it.
This movie was a unique pain to sit through. It’s not ‘so bad it’s good’ but it’s not so bad that you want to kill yourself before having to watch anymore. It really is like a good joke gone bad. I just sat there and stared, waiting for it to be over, trying to get as much enjoyment out of the blood squirting as possible. The movie obviously isn’t taking itself seriously and normally I would love a film like that. This is beyond not taking itself seriously though, it’s like the movie is openly mocking itself with rude and inappropriate comments.
I’m not even sure where else to go with this. I don’t think anyone should really enjoy this movie, even as a spoof of the grindhouse era. Somehow I know there’s a lot of people out there who think this one is awesome. I am not one of them unfortunately.
Under the marquee – Will